I have decided. My Journey has come to an end here. I am leaving the cavern, perhaps for a short time, perhaps forever. I might have the will to Write, but clearly not the technical knowledge to make it happen. I will be staying with a friend in a nearby state. Perhaps I can relate this story to him, who knows if he will believe it.

It appears that I have failed to grow the tree.

What’s the point. I give.

I spent days practicing my strokes. I wrote that damned word over and over, maybe a hundred times.

island
island
island
island
island
island

Confident that the next attempt would be successful, I wrote it into six of my remaining eight books before I gave up. Absolutely nothing. No link, no magic.

No world.

I cannot begin to fathom what to do next. The word looks exactly like it does in the Codex! EXACTLY!! In my absolute frustration and despair I lashed out, grabbed the first book my hands could find and tore it to shreds, from cover to cover.

Thankfully it was only my workbook and in my blind rage I didn’t destroy the Codex or the remaining blank Descriptive Books. These other books are useless now, tainted with my failure. I suppose I will have to find a way to dispose of them, but at the moment I can barely keep my fingers moving.

What am I to do now? I have failed utterly. I have absolutely nothing.

I think it may be time to re-think my reason to be down in this empty cave.

I haven’t written in a while. I haven’t done much of anything since I failed. Frankly, I should have expected that I would have some setbacks, but I was hit extremely hard by the failure. I spent most of the week away from my quarters, wandering the restored parts of the City, having little enthusiasm for much else. I spent time sketching parts of the Ae’gura that hold particularly fond memories for me. It helped to have those creative energies surrounding me again.

There must be a logical reason the link didn’t form. There must be! I refuse to believe some invisible deity deemed me unworthy.

Perhaps my form was messy, or my hand slipped. Perhaps the adrenaline made my pen shake, making my strokes less confident than they needed to be!

Yes! Looking at the word in the book, I see that this must be the reason! I must simply practice more confident strokes!

I return to my work!

My first attempt at writing is officially a failure. No link, no Age.

I realised that as my hand nears an active linking panel, there is a sort of electric sensation. A strange “pins & needles” feeling right before touching the panel. I realised that this would have to be the test if the panel was active or not.

I lowered my hand towards the panel, frightened for my life. One slip, one tremble or sneeze and I could be sent to a horrible death. I felt no pins, no needles. No sensation. Just my own heart pounding in my ears. I placed my hand closer and closer to the panel, convinced that it was active.

My hand hit the panel.

Nothing happened.

Failure.

It’s done. I did it. I wrote the word. It was somewhat anti-climactic. It didn’t feel like I thought it would. Once the word was written, I closed the book, not even looking at the linking panel. I don’t know if it worked, and I can’t stand to find out yet. I sat in silence for some time, contemplating what I had just done.

I suddenly felt very drained, and climbed into bed. I had a fitful night’s sleep. Nothing a cuppa couldn’t fix this morning though. I flipped to the book’s linking page, nothing. Just a black rectangle. Shouldn’t the image have appeared? Does it take a specific amount of time to appear? Perhaps it might appear once someone links through? I know so little. Perhaps too little.

The book sits next to me now. I keep looking over at it, expecting it to hop to life and shake my hand, congratulating me.

How can I know if it worked, without exposing myself to danger?

Today is the day. I’ve held off for a while, practicing the word over and over, the form and the strokes. I’m ready to write it into a Descriptive Book. I’ve chosen “island”. I do miss the ocean.

A single word, written in special ink, in a special book. The idea alone will always amaze me. My heart is pounding. I’m about to Write a link to an Age. I might be the first to do so since Yeesha, however long ago it was she last wrote.

I don’t know what I expect to happen, a burst of light, some magical voice? I don’t know.

I’m terrified by the thought that it has been too easy. It has to be more complex than this. There has to be more to it. I feel as if I’ve taken a shortcut. No Guilds, no real training, and I’m about to attempt a miracle. Can I? Should I?

Alright, now I’m just stalling.

Island
Island
Island

Here we go.

A moment's pause to enjoy the view from my quarters.

I’ve decided to take a break tonight. I’m feeling content, for the moment. My worries have receeded. I’m glad I decided to bring a few amenities down here with me. My electric kettle, CD player and a few novels. I would have gone crazy if it weren’t for a cup of Lady Grey tea and Keith Jarrett on the stereo. I’ve been meaning to catch up on my reading too. I haven’t finished the latest Ender’s Game novel yet.

Perhaps I’m letting my work encompass too much of my life, but it’s hard to sit still in this little oasis, surrounded by a sea of mysteries.

I must admit, this space is much cozier when I’m not buried in my lessons.

When I decided to use this Codex to learn, I strategically picked certain words that if used alone, would still be descriptive enough to create a functioning link. Words like “island” or “forest” were picked over “rock” or “grass”, allowing me to sculpt an entire landscape and test my ability quicker.

After weeks of practice, I feel confident that soon I will be able to write a single word Descriptive Book. With a single word, I should be able to test my abilities. The worlds may not be visually unique, but one step at a time.

I’m nervous, as soon as the ink touches the paper, magic will happen, but resources will also be spent. As soon as the ink touches, the path has been chosen and the first step taken. I hope it’s in the right direction.