I have always lived my life with one foot in the past. Always trying to recapture the glory of how it used to be. Whether it’s a lost civilization, the cavern full of explorers, or my own childhood, I can never simply enjoy the present for what it is. I am constantly thinking “Yes, this is good, but remember how it used to be? I wish it could be that way again”. Always yearning and wishing for something that will never come to pass. To a time of simplicity and ease. A time when my mind wasn’t heavy.

In another decade I will be nostalgic for the time I am not properly enjoying now. I must learn to simply enjoy life, and not look too far ahead, and not look too far behind. A difficult proposition indeed.

I miss the cavern, and the home I have built for myself there.

After what seems like no time at all, I am called back to the surface. I have some things I need to take care of that have suddenly popped their heads up. Will is staying behind. Don’t stop exploring. I will return as soon as I am able.

Back soon!

PG

Our boys got trounced on Sunday, although it was hardly a surprise. Germany simply outshon at every turn.

Terrible calls though. Seems like this entire month has been filled with them…

I suppose I should continue to support, but I must admit my interest faded after that defeat.

Will has been hacking away at his machines, and has barely stepped outside in days. I’m surprised that he hasn’t been more “over-the-shoulder” around me, but I’m impressed with him. When his passion hits, it hits hard.

After weeks on the surface, Will is ready to move down to the island in the Cavern with me. He wants to transport a lot of equipment, and while I’d rather not haul all these bloody things around in the dimness of the cavern, I do not trust my privacy and security to strangers. Luckily, nothing seems heavier than a full suitcase, it simply means making endless trips in my little boat. Will promises he has come up with a few ways to get the power he needs to his machines, but from what I’ve seen, it looks like his “ingenious plan” is simply to use larger generators, and more of them at that.

He also promised he has some exciting things planned for my recorder equipment, which I have ruefully neglected to use as of late. I tried to glean what he had in mind, but he would only smirk at me and say “it’s a surprise”.

He does this on purpose, he knows I hate it.

In any case, I have enjoyed my time on the surface, although I was ready to leave a while ago. I do miss the fireflies of Kemo. They are so beautiful this time of year. It’s just a shame there are none on the West Coast. I cannot help but smile when I see them.

Perhaps you will see Will or I soon.

More likely Will.

Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.

                                                              – Jonathan Swift

I’ve left the Cavern for the time being. Will has requested my help with some experiment he wants to complete before he transitions to an explorer from a technology person. Or has he fondly likes to call himself “Grand High Tinkerer of Tiny Things”.

I sometimes can’t even begin to understand him, however I must admit here, if not to him, that I am looking forward to someone nearby while I work. I have been so isolated for the longest time, perhaps it will stir my creativity to have him there. Just so long as he lets me work, although I don’t see that as a problem. Once will starts playing with some device, he goes into the same zone that I apparently do while writing.

Hmm…it looks like he has a lot of electronic equipment he will need. This may pose a problem on the generators that are already strained… I may have to find alternate sources of electricity.  Perhaps I should let William figure out that problem. If there’s anyone who can pull electricity from the most unlikely places, it’s him. And Nikola Tesla.

“Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine.”

Began work on Luminesce late last night. Can’t really explain it but I went into a fury of writing. It all seemed to pour out of me onto the page. Wrote for six hours straight. I’m exhausted and about to pass out but I wanted to record it here in case I woke up and couldn’t remember what I did.

So remember Giles.

It may not sound like it sometimes, but I truly love this place.

My main generator has been giving me issues of late, as such I’ve have been experiencing frequent blackouts. Due to this, I have had little luck keeping my laptop up or its connection stable until now. In fact this Journal entry has taken me almost a dozen attempts.

I had assumed a home of this size would have more D’ni lamps or light sources of some description, but upon inspection of the home there is nothing of note.

In fact, this holds true of the house in general. Most houses I have been inside were left looking ransacked as their owners made their escape (or perhaps were robbed in the aftermath). This one however is completely empty. This place was definitely emptied in a leisurely fashion. It feels somehow…odd.

Using the excuse of needing light sources, I have been spending a great deal of time exploring the surrounding area and sketching the architecture as was suggested by my readers. Of course, submitting these images is quite difficult with the power issues.

It sounds as if William is coming to a solid decision to become a Cavern Explorer, for at least the near future. I offered him a spot in my quarters, to which he readily agreed. I think he just wants a change of pace, although it remains to be seen how well he will transition from the surf of the Pacific to the darkness of the Cavern. I think he will be spending a decent amount of time visiting the Garden Ages!

My hope is that when Will comes, he can bring me some more reliable power cords for these old generators. After some study I believe the problem lies there.

Luminesce has taken a back-seat at this point. It feels good to sketch though. More on the blasted codex and it’s damnably complex writing style another time perhaps